Scratch that.
Start over.
What can I say?
I’m too in my head and I know it. Thinking of who will read this and what they’ll think.
I need to lighten up, otherwise I come across too depressed, whiny and obsessive. I need to be more positive. Share something useful, enlightened . . .
Oh, the inner dialogue. All the should’s, have-to’s and need’s tornado-ing around in my crazy brain.
This is Draft 3 — of what, I’m still not sure. ;)
Sometimes I wonder if we’re all just coming up with things to say for the sake of sharing, generating content to fuel the social media machine. To be seen as relevant, seen at all.
“Showing up” is much more labor intensive these days, because it requires photographic representation, a good filter, clever captioning and high posting frequency. (Don’t even get me started on Reels!)
Saturation of content adds to the epidemic of overwhelm on our planet. It breeds lack of clarity, worship of the superficial and widespread internal conflict.
While info of every kind at our fingertips is highly convenient and evolutionarily positive on a number of levels, how much of it is actually legit? In the top 10 Google results, we’re contending with paid ads, clickbait and bloggers holed up in windowless apartments pumping out SEO pieces in their undies in desperate hopes of roping enough site traffic to make their affiliate links worthwhile.
How much of it is real?
The pressure to produce and create is mounting and building on itself, and meanwhile, there’s more and more crap to sift through and process out. When will this requirement to virtually exist take over life itself? In ways, it already has.
As a seeker, writer, recovering hustle-mantra entrepreneur, I question the role of social media and the internet at large, how it affects our purposeful work, the endless distraction it inserts and the resulting uphill battle of comparison. Thonged, to-the-ceiling buns and online biz folks bragging about milly months has never lit my fire, in fact, just the opposite. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been trapped in a feed of some successful, sexy influencer and come away feeling like an absolute lost cause turd. On the flip, I’ve aligned with powerful spiritual teachers, healing modalities, business resources and all-around wonderful people that have hugely contributed to my personal growth and well-being. The great wide web is like all things, and that is — many things. Not all bad, or good, but a great messy mix of in-between through which we are constantly encouraged and reminded to return to our own sense of knowing and truth.
To embody one’s voice, remain focused, create inspired, handle life and #doyou — it takes an extra sheen of strength, determination, and, the ability to return to ourselves with gentle consistency.
Breakfast eaten sans phone. Nature time unadulterated by technology. Creating without brand strategy. Rich, in-person connection. — more of these, please.
I want to be a presence in our virtual world, and also, present in my own life.
I’m yet to strike that balance, feeling perpetually behind and admittedly avoidant. I’ve weathered major burnout that’s taken me years to recover from. Still healing and peeling out of hiding, I want it to be different, welcome help, cultivate a tribe and have a life, too. I still feel bowled over by the How of it all.
I want to believe that no matter how loud the space, my voice still resonates. No matter how abundant contenders of content, I have a place. After all, the universe brings us together in powerful and miraculous ways that far surpass algorithms. Even the Matrix has a fourth chapter — who knows what the simultaneous progression of both technology and spiritual awakening will bring.
All of it is YTBD, yet to be determined, and that’s the journey, that’s the fun, that’s what keeps us seeking, finding, searching and coming to know ourselves just a little bit better.