Jun 10, 2017
It was a lazy day. Not in the resisting-the-shit-outta-work kinda way. More like, everything in my body was telling me, "Take it easy, today." So I listened, with a bit of a nagging feeling like I should be doing more, but mostly going with the flow. A friend passed along Angel Academy recordings, spiritual explorations led by Matt Kahn and Julie Dittmar, with the message that there were insights inside meant for me. I snacked on carrot sticks and pineapple. Tuna fish on rice cakes. Drank water. Sprayed my plants. Soaked up some spiritual awakening, so much in fact, that at certain points I was warm all over, heat filling my head and nausea churning my insides. The energy was strong and there was a lot I needed to integrate that pressed the bounds of what I could handle. And then it came, an energetically soothing phrase that my scattered psyche yearned for: "I'm not unsettled because of the circumstances of my life, I'm unsettled because I'm unsettled." I repeated Matt's words with a relief in knowing that my ego's attempts at getting, over explaining, reaching for escape, feeling unsettled - were merely expressions of its immaturity. As we come into ourselves, breathe, relax, feel peace within a body open to change and not attached to the outcome . . . the need to fight against anything and everything in our lives, fades. As I began my day, I mildly fought my body's need to relax. Stirring up in my mind all the reasons why I needed to work instead. But what was meant for this day was so much bigger, so much more enlightening. And I had to be in a place of calm, settled, suspension in order to receive it. I now know that dog days are the best days for spiritual awakening. So the next time I wanna Nama-Stay-In-Bed, I'm gonna honor that and chill the F out, while opening my heart up to the entire universe.